12/16/2003: 
Criminally Absurd
The 12 'Politically Correct' Days Of Christmas
The PC movement is sad.Which makes this funny.
On the 12th day of the Euro centrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,
THREE deconstructionist poets,
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses and...
ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Joyous Festivus. Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!! (Unless otherwise prohibited by law) *
*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.
6 Annotations Submitted
Tuesday the 16th of December, prof_booty noted:
thbbt. why are you so worried about political correctness? it stops us from saying stupid stuff to people we dont know that well. and then you can say whatever the hell you want to your friends and on your website.
Tuesday the 16th of December, awiggins noted:
Why am I worried about the PC movement? I will tell you why. It is one of the many parts of what I like to call the "Pussification of America." The Pussification takes many forms. The ridiculous PC movement is just one of them.
Look at this PC bullshit. Baseball teams are urged, not by the minorities that their names represent, but by "concerned citizens" to change their names to something less offensive. Carpet munching feminazi sluts do not want to be called women, citing the preferred "womyn." The http://www.athenaeum.athenaverse.com/archives/00000153.htm" target="_blank">renaming of a 100 year old road that was originally a tribute to a local family. No good can come of this PC bullshit. It is doing nothing but turning us into a bunch of whining, thin-skinned cowards.
In the real world not everybody is nice!
One of the other biggest contributors is this idea that "everybody is a winner." You know what I am talking about. The idea that they are instilling into kids in school that even if you are on the loosing team, that somehow you are the winner. Little Bobby led his league in home runs and was almost solely responsible for his teams record season. Little Billy was able to not hit himself in the nuts with the bat more than five times in one season. Yet somehow they are both winners. This mentality is no good for anyone. If you are inept and no good at something, not only are you not going to find out, but if you do, there is no motivation to improve yourself because you are already a winner. If you excel in something your ability becomes trivial because you get the same amount of credit as the kid who holds the bat by the wrong end. Again, what is the motivation to excel?
In the real world not everybody is a winner!
Would this have worked?
"Saddam, please put down those weapons you are infringing upon the rights of the Kurds. They are just as special, and deserve as much respect as you."
"North Korea, you probably should not develop nuclear weapons. You can't hug your children with nuclear arms!"
Who knows maybe Hitler would have turned out to be an ok guy if somebody had given him a trophy for being a fuck up in grade school.
Tuesday the 16th of December, prof_booty noted:
Though your examples are powerful, they represent the abberation rather than the rule. Also, a consistent definintion of PC is probably called for. Shouting "PC IS BULLSHIT" may make you feel better, but won't solve any "problems" real or perceived. A code of conduct in polite society that includes all and is sensitive can do nothing but make social interaction easier. What ever you want to say to your friends or in your own home is your business, but if you expect to get along with people from diverse backgrounds in the workplace or school, it is probably helpful to have a modicum of social awareness.
I think that political correctness keeps words like ginny and womp and mick and hebie out of the common dialect, and I think that is a good thing.
Tuesday the 16th of December, awiggins noted:
I know those words are wrong. I do not need some neo-hippy telling me what to say or do. Americans need a little less "wishy washy" and a little more "mind your own business."
Tuesday the 16th of December, rafuzo noted:
Professor, you of all people. You are no longer my intellectual heir. Now return to the patchouli-induced cloud from whence ye came.
Tuesday the 16th of December, prof_booty noted:
i just like to reexamine assumptions once in a while, keeps people honest. as to the cloud, have no doubt i will return there.
