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Athenaeum Quote of the Whenever

Homeland Security warns that terrorists may try to target VA hospitals. When asked for details, Tom Ridge said "I don't know, I just make this shit up as I go along"
- Some Farker

Making fun of Jesus - "Because we can. And it's funny. People get so mad at us about this and tell me how I am going to hell and how serious the consiquences of my actions are. My answer is basically that if I were Jesus, I wouldn't really care what people said about me because, shit, I'm Jesus."
- Somebody at

"I don't think there's anybody in law enforcement who would think a defendant would be that stupid to keep a dead body in a storage shed rented under his own name, Luckily, people like this keep us in business."
- N.Y. District Attorney William Fitzpatrick

"From humble begining to getting his knob polished in the oval office, [Bill Clinton] is the american dream and still his lifes work has been to help others."
-Abe Froman

This was the year the Department of Homeland Security got rolling and advised us to be wary and buy plastic sheeting (in case of biological attack) and stock up on batteries. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, asked if he had complied, replied, "I would like to say I did. I don't believe we do. But I do have a miniature dachshund named Reggie, who looks out for us."

"He can roll up his sleeves all he wants at public events, but as long as we see that heart tattoo with Neville Chamberlain's name on his right forearms, he's never going anywhere."
- Dennis Miller on Howard Dean

"Consistent with the War Powers Resolution (Public Law 93-148) I now inform you that pursuant to my authority as commander in chief and consistent with the Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution (Public Law 102-1) and the Authorization for use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002 (Public Law 107-243), I directed U.S. armed forces, operating with other coalition forces, to commence combat operations on March 19, 2003, against Iraq."
- President Bush in a letter to Congress (Des Moines Register, Mar. 23)

While some broadcasters care about their programming, the CEO of America's biggest radio company (with more than 1,200 stations) admits he cares only about the ads. The Clear Channel boss told Fortune magazine in March: "If anyone said we were in the radio business, it wouldn't be someone from our company. We're not in the business of providing news and information. We're not in the business of providing well-researched music. We're simply in the business of selling our customers products."

"I wanted to become a better Snoop Dogg, full of water, proteins and stuff to keep me alive...lollipops and Big Macs."
- Snoop Dogg on giving up pot

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."
- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

"The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them."
- George Orwell

Great moments in the control panel log:

  • [11/12/03 07:00 PM] Alice deleted himself/herself in a sudden fit of existentialism (The birth date of The Athenaeum)
  • [11/13/03 12:56 PM] prof_booty changed his/her own name to
  • [11/13/03 12:57 PM] Invalid login attempt: No such author as

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."
- Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

In the context of poopalong cassidy, I don't understand " snockawlmf."

"Don't believe everything you read in the newspapers."
- former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair

"It's time we Americans came to terms with something: France is not just our annoying ally. It is not just our jealous rival. France is becoming our enemy."
- Tom Friedman, in The New York Times

"We are at a very serious moment dealing with very serious issues and we are not focusing on the name you give to potatoes."
- Nathalie Loisau, spokeswoman for the French embassy in Washington, on the serving of "Freedom Fries" in all House office buildings

"They missed a good opportunity to shut up."
- Silvio Berlusconi after French criticism of his refusal to meet Palestinian leaders

"I really want to unwind, do something more relaxing, like dismantle live nuclear weapons."
- Departing WH Press Secretary Ari Fleischer

"As far as I can tell, he [President Bush] doesn't do anything. He's like the Queen of England - he waves and they try to keep him from not falling down or killing himself on junk food. And I do understand that he's the nicest man in the world, but he's not running the country. And I get a little nervous about an America that is run by corporate America, which obviously we are now finding out. Those who didn't believe it are finding out."
- Harvey Fierstein

"Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edge sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar."
- Julius Caesar

"They keep you doped with religion and sex and TV and you think you're so clever and classless and free but you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see"
- John Lennon

"No answer for empty question. Very sorry."
- Tomohiro Kono, scientist at Tokyo University when asked whether it would be possible in theory to produce a human baby from two unfertilised eggs

"It's extremely difficult to govern when you control all three branches of government"
- [House Speaker] Hastert's spokesman John Feehery in the Washington Post

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