01/25/2004: 
That's Entertainment?
Those Wacky Brits Have Proof Of What We've Known All Along
Thank you News of The World for clarifying what we already know.
Michael Jackson's white children are the product of a sperm donor.
Somewhere out there, a group of lonely African-American teenage virgins have all begun weeping as their idol and friend is slowly being picked away as the fraud that he is. Have you ever seen the people who go out on the streets saying "he didn't do it" or "he's a wonderful man?" I interacted with one last week and I systematically destroyed their beliefs that he's some kind of loving giving man.
