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03/15/2004: Criminally Absurd Criminally Absurd

Asshat of the Week Nominee: William Cottrell

A few weeks ago, Abe Froman and I were watching a Fox 25 news expose on the ELF, or Earth Liberation Front, which is a domestic "terrorist group" that specializes in vandalism and destruction of private property they consider to be harmful to the Earth. Although some vandalism had occurred in IBNR's neck of the woods, I took this expose with the same grain of salt as such other classic Fox 25 news stories as "Are you selling dogs with fake papers?" and "Shoes: The Hidden Danger."

Last week, I read an article about William Cottrell, a 23 year- old grad student from CalTech, who is charged with setting fire to SUVs at several California car dealerships, causing $3.5 million in damages. As crazywriterinla wisely pointed out, by allegedly setting these SUVs on fire, this asshat probably caused more damage to the environment then if some morons had bought the damn thing, driven it into the ground and junked it. ELF has to be among the most pathetic of all terrorist organizations, considering that pasty suburban kids bombing mink farms, torching SUVs and vandalizing housing developments in the name of Mother Earth is not exactly in the same league as al- Queda, IRA, PLO, etc.

Here is an article from the Contra Costa Times about this dumbass.



Attorney says 23-year-old did not set SUVs on fire
By Kevin Pang
LOS ANGELES TIMES

LOS ANGELES - The attorney for a California Institute of Technology graduate student accused of setting sport utility vehicles on fire last year in an environmental protest says his client is innocent and that he will be exonerated.

"I haven't seen evidence linking him to the incident," attorney Stephen J. Alexander said of William Jensen Cottrell. "We maintain his innocence, and we think he'll be vindicated."

FBI agents arrested the 23-year-old early Tuesday at his girlfriend's Pasadena home on a warrant charging him with arson. He is being held without bail at a San Bernardino County jail, and his next court hearing is scheduled for Wednesday.

Cottrell, known to friends as "Billy," is accused in connection with the August 2003 arson attacks at four San Gabriel Valley auto dealerships.

The attacks, which caused $3.5 million in damage, targeted sport utility vehicles. An eco-terrorism group called the Environmental Liberation Front later took responsibility for the attacks.

The FBI focused on Cottrell after tracing e-mails claiming responsibility that were sent to the Los Angeles Times. The e-mails were tracked to a Caltech library, and an FBI affidavit last week alleged that they were sent by Cottrell. FBI officials said the person who sent the e-mails had key details about the fire that had not been made public.

But Alexander said the e-mails did not prove that Cottrell had anything to do with the fires.

Cottrell was a graduate student who was studying physics. He also was a teacher's assistant in a quantum physics course.

His father, William Milnes Cottrell of Concord, N.C., said last week that he did not believe his son was responsible for all of the alleged crimes. "I think he denies any actual physical activity," he said.

The relationship between Cottrell and his father was highlighted in a September 2001 article in The New York Times about rehabilitation schools for at-risk youths.

Cottrell's parents divorced when he was 9, and soon after, he moved to Gainesville, Fla., to live with his mother, according to the article. He was described as an "exceptionally bright boy" who had developed behavioral problems.

Cottrell was expelled from two public schools, and later from a military academy when he burned a dollar bill in front of a captain, the article said. Cottrell, according to the paper, said he was bored in the classroom and was picked on by bullies.

"I found that getting in trouble, and rebelling, all of a sudden instead of getting beat up, you're admired by people," Cottrell said in the article. "You're also fighting the school system, which you despise."

When he was 14, Cottrell was sent to a "wilderness therapy program" in Idaho. When he tried to run away from that school, his father hired an escort to accompany his son to another program in Provo, Utah, the article said. There, his behavior improved.

Cottrell eventually enrolled at the University of Chicago, where he received a double major degree in mathematics and physics.

He was a member of the cross-country squad and was part of a relay team that recorded the third-fastest time in school history, according to the university's Web site.

At Caltech, he shared a house with four roommates in a quiet residential area in Pasadena, east of the campus. One roommate, Rob Moncure, said Cottrell spent most nights at his girlfriend's apartment.

"We had known that he was being investigated, so we had an idea it might be coming," Moncure said.

"We talked about (the SUV fires), but I never came out and asked (if he did it). He certainly never admitted guilt."


Monday the 15th of March, IBNR noted:


IF any ELF Asshats want to burn something on my property I'll run them over with my SUV

peace out


Monday the 15th of March, nicole noted:


you mean *my* suv


Monday the 15th of March, the real nicole noted:


who's all pretending they're me?! but you're right, it's my SUV


Monday the 15th of March, the fake nicole noted:


drats! i've been unmasked!


Tuesday the 16th of March, Marshall Mathers noted:


Would the real nicole, please stand up.


Tuesday the 16th of March, TRN noted:


something shady is going on here. but i'm The Real N and yes, i'll run over whatever ELF Asshats that IBNR wants me to.