04/07/2004: 
That's Entertainment?
A Rant on Hollywood Doing All It Can to Fuck Up Comic Book Movies
Ahhh Hollywood. You take a sure-thing, smash hit comic book and turn it into cellophane movie shit. You also take lesser known comics and somehow turn them into hits. Evidence:
Brett Ratner fell through on directing Superman. Now we get to see how McG does this go around on it...hopefully better than Charlie's Angels 2. Then again, Ratner did Rush Hour 2. Which is the lesser of two evils?
Ang Lee...directed The Ice Storm. Amazing mis-en-scene, quirky dialogue, a definite bizarre time capsule into a world we missed out on because we were being born, starring Tobey Maguire before fame. Then Lee directed The Hulk. The instant I saw the CG animated shitstain that was to represent The Hulk, I refused to see it. And I've yet to meet one person who cared for that movie.
Daredevil. I mean come on, he's blind except with cool glasses on. I mean, how do you fuck that up? Add humor. Make his costume cool. How do you screw that up....oh yeah. Cast Ben Affleck as the lead. Nice hair plugs, Benny. Why is Matt Damon fucking your ex-assistant anyway?
Spiderman...I can't even go there. When the Green Goblin showed up on screen, a kid in front of me yelled "Look a Power Ranger!" Yeah...they're teaming up to fight evil. Shut up and eat your popcorn.
And then you have surprisingly good stuff happen:
Underworld...not bad
Hellboy...not bad
Alien vs Predator...I'm looking forward to this. Paul WS Anderson did direct one of the most freaky movies of all time in Event Horizon (file that under Nightmares for a week)
And then there's your category of what the FUCK are they thinking:
Although I knew about this months ago, I was hoping it would not come down to this.
If you're too lazy to read that...it says that the same jerkoff who directed that stale stupid Barbershop movie is going to be the guy who ruins The Fantastic Four.
Hollywood, I love you so much. But then you pull this shit. I feel like biting off the hand that feeds me, and tearing it apart.
2 Annotations Submitted
Wednesday the 7th of April, santo26 noted:
what's up with the dr. strange movie?
Thursday the 8th of April, crazeewritahinelay noted:
they're waiting for you to move out here before we make it.
Actually, if the money goes my way, you better fucking believe there will be movies made about:
1) Dr. Strange
2) Power Man and Iron Fist
3) And whether or not they do it right in the next Fantastic Four, Dr. Doom has a posse.
